Disappointment, that's what this post is about...I tell my children that they need to learn to live with disappointment in life, accept it, pick themselves up and move on. It's hard for a 5 and 6 year old to grasp this, especially when they were born with competitive spirits. But what about me...I'm knocking on the door of 40 and I still haven't figured out how to live with disappointment. My life has been full of it, in many different segments of life, but recently it hit me like a punch in the stomach with my favorite pasttime.
I scrap, it's my therapy and has become my addiction. In the world of digiscrapping there are many websites where a scrapper can post layouts, chat in the forum, participate in challenges, get freebies, etc...it's our online world...so I applied to a creative team call at a very awesome site where I spend most of my digiscrap time. I didn't make it, but my friend did. OK so I'm happy for my friend...yes it's genuine, she is a great scrapbooker...but of course I'm disappointed with myself. It makes me think, what is she doing that I'm not??? I get a ton of comments on my layouts, at least one comment on every layout I post. I just don't understand. In some ways I feel like it's just the punchline to how my life has been lately. I've been moody, angry, mean, ingrateful, selfish (and it's not even that time of the month!) Boy I'm really laying it out there for ya'll to read...such insight huh? Seriously, I'm dealing w/ God on these behavior issues, he'll straighten me out soon... I hope!
So how do I deal with this disappointment? I was thinking of taking a hiatus from the site I love so much. Just to let my wounded heart heal a bit...maybe take up a new site for adding layouts and surfing the digi world. Then I was thinking, maybe this is really God teaching me a lesson. The Bible study I attend on Tues. mornings was very interesting this morning. We are talking about fear, competition, obedience, pride...there's the word, pride. This has seriously wounded my pride. So tonight when I'm done laying it all out there I'm going to have a good cry and sleep on it. It's good to watch the Olympics and see the athletes who train hard, work hard, suffer, follow their dreams, and then they fall or crash and see all their dreams come smashing down...it's hurtful for them, but they get up, brush themselves off and move on...move on...that's what I'll do...thanks for listening...
4 comments:
I am sorry you didn't make the CT Julie. I know how much it meant to you. I've seen your work and by all means think you should have been picked, too. But we don't know what goes on behind these closed doors, um, laptops. When I first started digiscrapping more then 3 years ago I applied for a few teams once I felt "up to it". I ended up getting accepted over the course of a year or so to three - 1 website and 2 individual designers. You know what, I hated doing the CT work. I feel constrained by having to use certain product, etc. I know that doesn't make you feel better but keep applying - there are always tons of calls out there and when the time is right it'll happen. - XOXOXOX
I'm sorry to hear your disappointment.. and I am in the same boat as you.. but just remember that there were 130 applicants.. and there are TONS of awesome LO's in the gallery.. your time will come :) Keep scrapping and don't let one CT call make you stay away!
Julie, I have always admired your layouts and think you are an awesome digi scrapper. How selections are made is anyone's guess. I can tell you that your disappointment is normal and healthy. I can't tell you how many times I did not win or get accepted when I was entering needleart contests back in the day when I was your age! Sigh! I remember having a number of "Good Cries." A wonderful friend of mine told me to never give up if it was what I really wanted. When I look back on it, the contests did not validate my skill or talent; it was my friends and family who loved what I did and that truly meant the most. Keep applying - the right person will recognize your talent because you definitely are talented!
arrgghhhh jules...it sucks. it really does and its heartbreaking because you want others to feel the love that you pour into your lo's. like everyone said who knows what goes into the "picking" process, and if i had to choose i'd pick you! infact i did... :) i picked you as one of my closest and dearest friends and i'm so lucky to have your crazy ways in my life. don't be so hard on yourself, you are an amazing, mother, wife, friend, cousin and PERSON! i *heart* you!!!
Post a Comment